broken hearted praises :)

Dear Journal,

Dad Thoughts: I really miss him. I read a quote that went something like this... "you grief because you loved." I'm glad to hear that. I didn't realize that before. I really love my dad. I really REALLY love him. I am so thankful he is my dad. I keep hearing him laughing in my head, when I see him in my thoughts laughing... i smile. Such a warm smile and contagious laugh he had.

Everyday Life: Cleaning all sorts of things... the garage, the yard, the family room, even my body. I am doing a cleanse right now of Apple Juice, in hopes to cleanse my kidneys and gall bladder. I feel like even my emotions are getting detoxified. This feels real good.

I started dancing again, with Many But One. I love them, they are such a beautiful group of people. We are taking a trip up to North Carolina in a few weeks to dance. I am excited about this, because I don't really know what to expect. Mrs. D said we are going to share our stories... boy can I give them one! ANd the funny thing is... that I really don't consider myself a good speaker. I think i am a far better communicator writing than I am speaking. Oh well... if God used a jackass he could use me too.

Boys: I make these topics up on my own. I just sort of go with the flow of my thoughts... My nephews got mohawks yesterday, and they are boys. I had the thought today while cutting the grass, "I need a boyfriend so he can cut my grass! Maybe I'll pay him with kisses on the face." I thought that was good enough. I hope I get a boyfriend who would be eager to cut my grass. :)

Yoga: i like it. I sends blood pulsing throughout my body. I makes me feel inflated.

Schedule: It's been pleasantly packed. Each day seems like it has it's own load to unpack, and when I wake up in the morning... I ask God to unload it with me. I think He responds... "You got it, I am all ready!" I like Him, He's my man. He has been the strongest man I've ever loved. I am glad to be loved by Him in return. This makes me feel complete.


other... my friends are voting for me to win a free kitchen makeover and groceries from whole foods for a year. I really want the groceries and need them too. If you read this you can vote for me too. Look for my name, Lindsay Brown Go to Panda Kitchens

http://www.pandakitchen.com/t-panda-contest.aspx

Friends: i love em! Thanks God!

"God is near to the broken hearted."

do you love me enough to let me go...

I'm telling you, the new Switchfoot CD is probably the best CD I've heard in a long time!

Updates:

Daddy is home. He hasn;t eaten in 3 days now, but his thirst level is really inquenchable. I have no idea if he is going to pass away soon, or weeks from now, all I know is that he is very weak. He is sleeping right here, in this very room with me. I am so happy right now, because he is home. It's been 8 long and traumatic days in the hospice center. Praise God that's over for now. I shall keep you posted.


"Every seed dies before it grows..."

i think you should leave my yard...

i said to the frog. those frogs are getting bigger! Just a few weeks ago, Aiden and I were catching them as little babies. Now, now they are massive! As big as my hand! I won't be touching them now.

So today, today was a very unbelievable day. My dad fell from a seizure and hit his head on the something. When I heard him groaning, I popped up out of bed, in a panic to see what was happening. He was laying on the floor shaking and bleeding. He had bonked his head on the descend down. Lying there seizuring, with blood dripping from his injury. Powerless. Vulnerable. Helpless. Frieghtened. Scary. Sad. Panic. Calm. Call 911. Insurance. Questions. Bleeding. Seizure. These words are running through my head. I grabbed a towel, wiped the blood from his arm and face, flipped him onto his back and prayed. Composing myself, I went and calmly called 911, hoping to disguise my worry with a calm patient voice, and reassuring pets on my dad's silver head of hair.

The medics came shortly after I placed the call to 911. The asked my dad, "How did you fall?" he slurred, "she pushed me" pointing his index finger at me. No grin or crack in his smile, that's all dad. Always a joker. He was slurring his speech a little, and more so later, but his humor was still there. Thank you Jesus. Hospital visit flew by. Five and a half hours felt like 15minutes. Then the Hospice by the Sea in Boca. Where he is now this minute.

Breathing: Labored
Mood: humorous
Status: groggy, really sleepy
Prediction: only time will tell.

I will keep you updated.

Thankful List

1. I was home and heard him fall. I could imagine so many other painful situations that could of happened, but didn;t. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT!

2. Good communication with all the people involved

3. Tomorrow I am going to recommend he be put on oxygen, to help ease his breathing.

4. He has been staying alove this long, for one reason, because he loves me.
Thanks Dad and Thanks GOD! I love you both. I don't know how I will survive without my earthly dad, but I know God has a plan.

5. The wind chimes, that remind me of the Holy Spirit's presence in my life, and around my house.

6. Facebook, and the social media it is, that I can have hundreds of people praying for me.