There's no architecture to how I feel.

This is going to be a prayer, one asking for guidance, confessing my naievety and praying for correction. Yeah, thing have been working out terrificly. But is what I want, worth what I need?

My only desire...

Is Christ. I have set up my life around this one thing, this One person, this One God. I just love Jesus. I feel comfort and eternal security constantly. But right now, I feel like I am in a challenging position. To what degree do I submit myself to the outside world... without compromising my personal convictions? Being in the world but not of it. I need to remember Christ when He drew a line in the sand, waiting for the person "without sin" to cast the first stone upon the women caught in adultery. Or the time the women was at the water well, and He knew she had no husband, and that this fellow she has with now wasn't the right man for her either. But Jesus, He didn't condemn these women, he knew their hearts were broken and hurting. Well right now, so is mine. Am I really capable of being Christlike in this situation, when I am just as broken as the person? Christ look upon me with love. I just want to help out, by giving what I can give.

Dad update:

I friggin miss him. He always saved me when I had a flat tire on my bike. Is someone going to help me now? Without him, am I going to be OK? SOmetimes, I feel scared. I wish I could ask him what he would do if he were me. God, please come through for me. I need you, and I am frightened.

Scripture: Do not fear for I am with you, Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, and uphold you with my mighty right hand.

Prayer Requests:

Prayer for Amy to be exactly where she should be, every single second of every single day.

That God would lead the right people into my house soon. So I can start finding some stability

To be strong and courageous in EVERY and ALL situations! Fearless...

Praises:

Thankful for the children at camp eleven. There joy and laughter. They hearts to worship JESUS CHRIST through dancing. What an honor! Thank you God!

Honesty and communication within relationships.

Great and fun friends!

You take my thoughts into paradise.

Today, while I was at the beach, I was remembering something that I have always said I would do for my children... which is to surround then with art, color and beauty. I felt like these things enable human beings to connect with their innate gifts and callings. Something all children should have the opportunity to take advantage of. It should be so common, so contrite, that they don't even notice anymore... right?

Well, to go along with this thought, since my dad has passed...( which still feels surreal, btw) I have been reminded over and over about what a GOOD father he was. And God is our Father in heaven, and so these thoughts came to me today... God seriously gives us the most beautiful masterpieces, everyday! I can look up in the sky at any point in the day and see something my eyes have never before seen. The sky is so common, so contrite, yet so amazingly unique, everyday! What a beautiful and loving dad He is. Jesus, I love your Father, thank YOU for showing me how I could reach Him. You take my thoughts into paradise.

aaaahhhhhhhhh......

::deep breathe::

Not to mention, the beach was absolutely beautiful today. I would like to go again tomorrow. My heart is healed there. A place where I feel my heart is held tightly by the tender hands of Christ, and THERE I am at peace. At the shore, I can feel the waves touching my feet, the water is allowed to embrace me everywhere... and nothing can be hidden from its invasiveness. When I'm in the ocean, the water is very generous, and luxurious... covering my body, delighting my soul and obviously captivating my mind. I don't know how or why I was made with this desire, but it's soothing. Just remembering it, makes me feel relaxed.

Prayer Requests

Robbie and Zoila to move into my house at the perfect time.

My schedule to fit perfectly together.

Camp 11 to be Kick a$$

ThankFULLness.

My friends who are voting for my kitchen.

Finally writing and having ideas

Amy bringing a car load full of organic fruits and veggies.

Peace and Quiet tonight to sit with me, and Marley too :)

And for you reading all the way to this point.

Thanks and God bless you with LIVING water abundantly