love never ends. infatuation does.

for this to be honest, love must help me write this.

i always have wondered; "how long will it take to mend a broken heart?"

is it even repairable? i think my heart looks more like a gaping canyon. and less of a flat, connected peaceful prairie! haha

you know what though? it's totally cool, because Jesus can build a bridge with His resources. He can make my garden look anyway He wants it to look. Yes, i stupidly have allowed some very destructive people into my garden, that have treated it like garbage. but Jesus comes in and checks out the damage. starts to make some changes here and there, and it looks so beautiful!

you know the balm of gilead the bible talks about? it's like this salve that can pretty much repair anything and make it look shiny and new again. rub some of that on my old heart now, as i sit here thanking you that you have come!


Sometimes I feel like I keep repeating the same stupid mistakes in relationships. it starts off with a stranger, who i don't know, and i trust them with all my info, thinking they can handle it! dude, how unintelligent is it to "fall in love" with someone who is a stranger? to let them into the private territory of my heart, when they have absolutely no privilege coming in? even if they ask, i will now assume that they can not handle the beauty within all at once. it must be seen through a myriad of different windows. So i am in the process of devising a new way to fall in love... God's way through Lindsay.

1. first, walk in love with jesus. his love for me is always constant, He's my number 1 anyway, so i want to focus on Him, our feelings are mutual :)

2. grow healthy relationships with men, and treat them as brothers with honor. and expect the same in return.

3. expect amazing things from a God who loves me and has His best plan for me in His mind. i just have to wait for it! i love waiting, each day is one step closer to heaven, and marriage is another learning experience. i can allow it, or i can remain single. in both cases, i am with Love, and that's my home.

as of right now, i would like to get married, and share life with a person who is special and beautiful in Christ. who wouldn't? but i want to keep learning to have relationships with people in a healthy way that honors God and them. and then quite possibly take the steps towards getting married. dude, i don't know, i feel like this is kind of far off to be thinking about it now. o, whatever! haha God knows exactly and he will prepare me accordingly at the right time. all i get to do is relax, and make the best posibble decisions i can. they have faith everything will fit into place!

Lord, my prayer is to know how to healthfully navigate this particular kind of love. to be content, and alive right where i am always. to be intimately acquainted with you and others. you rock! in jesus christ name, amen

Things that have been instrumental in my healing from heart breaks. just in case you feel like reading. i just want to remember the things i have done, because they are great!

listening to Tid-bits of wisdom like...
"God is near to the broken hearted."
"If the flame was intense quickly, it will fizzle out just as fast."
"fall in love is insanity"
"be friends and stay true to yourself."

Listening to music
times: by tenth avenue north (current)

writing letters and praying through my emotions with God, and also with friends. thanks guys!!

and asking questions.

meditating on God's love for me, it makes me feel filled up with love and confidence.

i don't know why all of this came out now, but im confident there is a reason.

Linds