Saturday, you are such a fantastic day! You started off nerve racking, but you've turned out to be quite the peaceful and restful day I was looking forward too.
Introducing new characters...
Princess King, she's ah-mazing! When I see her, I see a diligent, God fearing, intelligent young women with a bright future. When I think of her, I see God's promise over a family. They belong to God's family. EVeryone is successfully following Christ. I want my family to be like that. I want my children to feel like they can look up to their parents with expectation, appreciation and inspiration. I would also love them to have Kale eating grandparents! :)
Dear Life,
I never thought you'd turn out to be the teacher you are. You're really good at it, keep it up!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Jesus is the truest reflection of Love.
"Alone with my thoughts on Royal Palm Blvd." was the original thought for the title of this blog. I liked it, it sounded good and poetic to me. I needed to add "with my bike" somehow, but that broke the flow... But, this new title is waay better, and it came to me tonight too, after I got home. I just started singing this made up song, "Jesus was made to be worshipped, and He's the truest reflection of love." It's actually pretty good. I really like this one.
Random Thought
These are those things you think about, but don't really share for a number of various reasons..
Goal setting...
1. Making bicycle riding look cool, in hopes of encouraging people to leave a smaller carbon footprint.
Romance
2. God is going to lead us to the right person.
Life
3. I miss colby brown. RIP baby Colby
the end of RT.
Where you treasure is, there you heart will also be.
What of my possessions that means a lot to me, would i give to someone out of love?
During Christmas time, people share stories of how they gave their best Christmas gift to someone else who wouldn't of otherwise received anything. Kids would selflessly give there special toys or games... and I was thinking, "what is the world would i give to someone?" I really don't value that many possessions. If I got a new surfboard thought, that would be a tough one to give away. On the bike ride home tonight, I had a different thought though. One that Ive never had before, but I felt more mature than ever for having it. I thought, with such nobility and sincerity, I would share with them my experience with the Love of Christ. I have received a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing that has been this powerful! Since I have been saved, I have experienced some very deep healing moments. I mean, I can only credit the hand of God. Things that would normally have sent me spiraling into a black abyss of depression, now are leaving me with a thankful heart and a farewell goodbye of appreciation. That's the HAND OF GOD. Normal Lindsay would have never been able to accept the these things, but born-again Lindsay, bride of Jesus, apple of the Prince of Peace's eye, beautiful in His eyes... see these as opportunities for intimacy with her Lover. Into-me- see. Intimacy. Anyway all that to say, I would want to share how I have been loved and accepted by the creator of the Universe, and the perfect reflector of Love, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the One in the bible, God's Son, who came to show us the way to life.
Crazy IDEA # 1 of the night
walk the coast in Australia, Chile or Indo (anywhere really esp. a spanish speaking country), and surf a bunch of places... sharing Christ, surf, food and dance. I would REALLY like this.
another random thought that should be under the Random Thoughts section, I want to have a love that communicates with his eyes and actions that he loves me. Yep.
Shalom. Thanks for reading, hope you got something out of it.
Random Thought
These are those things you think about, but don't really share for a number of various reasons..
Goal setting...
1. Making bicycle riding look cool, in hopes of encouraging people to leave a smaller carbon footprint.
Romance
2. God is going to lead us to the right person.
Life
3. I miss colby brown. RIP baby Colby
the end of RT.
Where you treasure is, there you heart will also be.
What of my possessions that means a lot to me, would i give to someone out of love?
During Christmas time, people share stories of how they gave their best Christmas gift to someone else who wouldn't of otherwise received anything. Kids would selflessly give there special toys or games... and I was thinking, "what is the world would i give to someone?" I really don't value that many possessions. If I got a new surfboard thought, that would be a tough one to give away. On the bike ride home tonight, I had a different thought though. One that Ive never had before, but I felt more mature than ever for having it. I thought, with such nobility and sincerity, I would share with them my experience with the Love of Christ. I have received a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing that has been this powerful! Since I have been saved, I have experienced some very deep healing moments. I mean, I can only credit the hand of God. Things that would normally have sent me spiraling into a black abyss of depression, now are leaving me with a thankful heart and a farewell goodbye of appreciation. That's the HAND OF GOD. Normal Lindsay would have never been able to accept the these things, but born-again Lindsay, bride of Jesus, apple of the Prince of Peace's eye, beautiful in His eyes... see these as opportunities for intimacy with her Lover. Into-me- see. Intimacy. Anyway all that to say, I would want to share how I have been loved and accepted by the creator of the Universe, and the perfect reflector of Love, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the One in the bible, God's Son, who came to show us the way to life.
Crazy IDEA # 1 of the night
walk the coast in Australia, Chile or Indo (anywhere really esp. a spanish speaking country), and surf a bunch of places... sharing Christ, surf, food and dance. I would REALLY like this.
another random thought that should be under the Random Thoughts section, I want to have a love that communicates with his eyes and actions that he loves me. Yep.
Shalom. Thanks for reading, hope you got something out of it.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
perhaps one of the saddest days yet...
Colby's death reflection.
I don't want to sleep, my eyes are burning and swelled from all the tears and I never imagined how I could become so attached to an animal. I feel like a 8 year old who lost their favorite pet, and even more silly that I'm going to admit my feelings about it in the next paragraph.
I sat in my car tonight, imaging myself being greeted by Colby as I walked into the empty house. He would be so excited to see me, wiggling his tail in delight, and likewise ( minus the tail wagging). Honestly, Colb has been through some of my toughest times, he would "walk it out" with me, if I needed to go take a walk and clear my head. Some of my tenderest prayer times, he was right by my side, keeping me company. It feels surreal now, empty, lonely. I was thinking earlier that I normally appreciate change, because I enjoy the adventure of adjusting and growing. Not until the change is involuntarily and utterly against my "coping mechanism." I feel stripped of the things I've depended on lately. I feel overlooked and a little unloved. by God.
I know I can't always go on my emotions. God sees me, the bible calls him El Roi, the God who sees (he sure has been watching me cry a lot lately). I can't help it. It's not really only because of Colby, but Colby is a safe avenue to let out my other fears and pains.
I am pained that mentally I feel like a failure. My thoughts are so vital to the health of my entire being, but as of late, they have been angry, frustrated, negative and lacking the hope I once felt. I know the flavor of hope, and I long for it's taste to be in my mouth, but lately, tears and frustrations have been the taste. I don't like this flavor. You know, I guess I just have to wait this season out. I know there is a reason for all of this. The last times I went to read the bible, I have been reminded of God's plan to rebuild my life for His glory and honor. I really REALLY like that. And another lesson in all of this is that, even though all my fail me, God won't. He can't. He was made, He knows no beginning or end. It's impossible for him.
I did assume He had it out for me though. Taking my baby Colby like that! Then a thought poped in my head that Colby was running around in heaven and God liked him, and I immediate gave God the evil eye. Not fair God. So not fair. but that's the way it is.
I really REALLY liked him though.
Updates:
Dad's health is stable. Him and Gloria are seeing each other again. I'm happy he has someone to talk to about things. Her companionship is good for him.
Travel plans: Roadtripping to LA in a month. Uber stoked to take this cross country adventure. I feel like God has His hand in this, and I am praying it's one of those trips where everything goes seamlessly. H O P E F U L L Y. Susan invited me to go with her, because she needs to ship her car to Hawaii. She's moving there. I really REALLY want to go and visit her. :)
Love Life: Yep, I love my life. well, that's kind of a lie. but I love it probably more than I should. I am reminded of the verse, Luke 9:24 "Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." It's would be successful of me to have a life of complete obedience to God. Yep.
Surfing has been a tad frustrating to say the least. The waves have been nice, but I have had trouble catching them. My problem I think is that I pop up not close enough to the back and the waves rolls on by underneath me. I have caught a few, but have lost more than I've caught, which makes me want to go try harder.
Dance camp 11 this summer for the 5-11 year olds from the Harbour. Gonna be a blessing, I'm looking for dance songs that have to do with worshipping God, and how it is seen as a gift to Him. Ok, I feel a little convicted ;)
In General I want to be like my friend Ebony, because she's a lot like Jesus. Today when I was talking to her, she was telling me about her grandma, and how she wanted me to pray for her. Her grandma is making some choices that are hurting her financially, and Ebony is a little concerned, and naturally wants to offer her advice. However, the grandma is unwilling to receive Eb's advice. So Ebony is praying for her. God will be done. The lesson I learned here, was that Ebony is going to "honor" her grandma, by letting her take the control. Lately, I have found myself at odds with my dad, sometimes being able to keep quiet, but there have been some frustrating times where I have argued back. I hate to admit that, because it's terrible to talk back, I know, and it comes so naturally! Ugh! God is super patient, I've been trying to stay more quiet. I know my dad is sick and in pain, he doesn't want to argue, but it happens.
Prayer ReQuests
For peace and ease in all my relationships.
Grace in this time of learning lessons and the application of them
Restorative down time
His Kingdom to come and His will to be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
I don't want to sleep, my eyes are burning and swelled from all the tears and I never imagined how I could become so attached to an animal. I feel like a 8 year old who lost their favorite pet, and even more silly that I'm going to admit my feelings about it in the next paragraph.
I sat in my car tonight, imaging myself being greeted by Colby as I walked into the empty house. He would be so excited to see me, wiggling his tail in delight, and likewise ( minus the tail wagging). Honestly, Colb has been through some of my toughest times, he would "walk it out" with me, if I needed to go take a walk and clear my head. Some of my tenderest prayer times, he was right by my side, keeping me company. It feels surreal now, empty, lonely. I was thinking earlier that I normally appreciate change, because I enjoy the adventure of adjusting and growing. Not until the change is involuntarily and utterly against my "coping mechanism." I feel stripped of the things I've depended on lately. I feel overlooked and a little unloved. by God.
I know I can't always go on my emotions. God sees me, the bible calls him El Roi, the God who sees (he sure has been watching me cry a lot lately). I can't help it. It's not really only because of Colby, but Colby is a safe avenue to let out my other fears and pains.
I am pained that mentally I feel like a failure. My thoughts are so vital to the health of my entire being, but as of late, they have been angry, frustrated, negative and lacking the hope I once felt. I know the flavor of hope, and I long for it's taste to be in my mouth, but lately, tears and frustrations have been the taste. I don't like this flavor. You know, I guess I just have to wait this season out. I know there is a reason for all of this. The last times I went to read the bible, I have been reminded of God's plan to rebuild my life for His glory and honor. I really REALLY like that. And another lesson in all of this is that, even though all my fail me, God won't. He can't. He was made, He knows no beginning or end. It's impossible for him.
I did assume He had it out for me though. Taking my baby Colby like that! Then a thought poped in my head that Colby was running around in heaven and God liked him, and I immediate gave God the evil eye. Not fair God. So not fair. but that's the way it is.
I really REALLY liked him though.
Updates:
Dad's health is stable. Him and Gloria are seeing each other again. I'm happy he has someone to talk to about things. Her companionship is good for him.
Travel plans: Roadtripping to LA in a month. Uber stoked to take this cross country adventure. I feel like God has His hand in this, and I am praying it's one of those trips where everything goes seamlessly. H O P E F U L L Y. Susan invited me to go with her, because she needs to ship her car to Hawaii. She's moving there. I really REALLY want to go and visit her. :)
Love Life: Yep, I love my life. well, that's kind of a lie. but I love it probably more than I should. I am reminded of the verse, Luke 9:24 "Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." It's would be successful of me to have a life of complete obedience to God. Yep.
Surfing has been a tad frustrating to say the least. The waves have been nice, but I have had trouble catching them. My problem I think is that I pop up not close enough to the back and the waves rolls on by underneath me. I have caught a few, but have lost more than I've caught, which makes me want to go try harder.
Dance camp 11 this summer for the 5-11 year olds from the Harbour. Gonna be a blessing, I'm looking for dance songs that have to do with worshipping God, and how it is seen as a gift to Him. Ok, I feel a little convicted ;)
In General I want to be like my friend Ebony, because she's a lot like Jesus. Today when I was talking to her, she was telling me about her grandma, and how she wanted me to pray for her. Her grandma is making some choices that are hurting her financially, and Ebony is a little concerned, and naturally wants to offer her advice. However, the grandma is unwilling to receive Eb's advice. So Ebony is praying for her. God will be done. The lesson I learned here, was that Ebony is going to "honor" her grandma, by letting her take the control. Lately, I have found myself at odds with my dad, sometimes being able to keep quiet, but there have been some frustrating times where I have argued back. I hate to admit that, because it's terrible to talk back, I know, and it comes so naturally! Ugh! God is super patient, I've been trying to stay more quiet. I know my dad is sick and in pain, he doesn't want to argue, but it happens.
Prayer ReQuests
For peace and ease in all my relationships.
Grace in this time of learning lessons and the application of them
Restorative down time
His Kingdom to come and His will to be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
i will meet you there.
I love this song.
Tell Me where are you going my son
On your journey so far from your home
Tell me what can they offer you
What can they do that I haven’t already done
I will meet you there
There in the heart of the Father
I will meet you there
There in the heart of the Son
Let Me tell you it’s breaking My heart
To see you walk down that road
But in all of your running
Remember this one thing
I will meet you there...
Oh Lord, thanks for meeting me here. I love it when your near.
Tell Me where are you going my son
On your journey so far from your home
Tell me what can they offer you
What can they do that I haven’t already done
I will meet you there
There in the heart of the Father
I will meet you there
There in the heart of the Son
Let Me tell you it’s breaking My heart
To see you walk down that road
But in all of your running
Remember this one thing
I will meet you there...
Oh Lord, thanks for meeting me here. I love it when your near.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
new heart
a new heart is what i want. for the past 9 months I have pictured my life with a certain guy, a certain way, all minus the guy and the way! haha My head and imagination is excellent, but sometimes it gets me in trouble. So, now, no more trouble with this imaginary life. Let's make a plan for a realistic life... plus the things that already exist! Oh boy, I think we're on to something here...
Person I want to be...
compassionate
thoughtful
fearless
welcoming
open
wise
fun
powerful in conviction
My dad told me today, that he was taught to always pray for others and not for himself. If I did that, I wonder if my mind would be more focused on the joy, sorrows and successes of others, and less focused on my own wants needs and desires. I would like to practice only praying for others, and see where it gets me...
I'll fill you in when I have some data :)
Super Nerdy Bloggage
Now, I'd like to just type some stuff off my chest.
Will my eyes get worse if I am constantly looking at things only close by? I try to stretch my eye muscles, by looking all around, but I'm a little suspicious that my eye problems are from only focusing things near by. hum... interesting, maybe that would also parallell with my future planning. I like to dream about the future, but I am fearful of planning for the future. One good thing I can foresee is that I will be starting nursing school within the next 3 - 6 months. I am trying tonot be afraid, and to look forward to growing older and making future goals and plans. Sometimes I fall into the typical "baby of the family" category, where everyine has always taken care of me. Now it's time to take care of myself, it's a necessary adjustment that I have only become aware of recently. I am thankful for the enlightenment. Thanks Jesus for teaching me the ways to true life.Seriously, I like You a lot.
Opened and closed doors.
I have been praying for many weeks with a certain request, and God has defintely shut the door. I feel free. I feel thankful. Even though I wanted a different outcome, Im expectant God will make my path straight towards the goal. Love. Christ.
If I could sum up my whole life, and only say one thing to everyone... it would be "Love Christ."
This continues to change me all the time. I don't know how, or why... but it does. I am so thankful for God. His ways, this night, the door that closed, the healthy food i was blessed to eat, my dad, his favor for me, colby. i think God made me like this, therefore I thank God.
Yahhoo... new heart, start beating.. now! :)
Person I want to be...
compassionate
thoughtful
fearless
welcoming
open
wise
fun
powerful in conviction
My dad told me today, that he was taught to always pray for others and not for himself. If I did that, I wonder if my mind would be more focused on the joy, sorrows and successes of others, and less focused on my own wants needs and desires. I would like to practice only praying for others, and see where it gets me...
I'll fill you in when I have some data :)
Super Nerdy Bloggage
Now, I'd like to just type some stuff off my chest.
Will my eyes get worse if I am constantly looking at things only close by? I try to stretch my eye muscles, by looking all around, but I'm a little suspicious that my eye problems are from only focusing things near by. hum... interesting, maybe that would also parallell with my future planning. I like to dream about the future, but I am fearful of planning for the future. One good thing I can foresee is that I will be starting nursing school within the next 3 - 6 months. I am trying tonot be afraid, and to look forward to growing older and making future goals and plans. Sometimes I fall into the typical "baby of the family" category, where everyine has always taken care of me. Now it's time to take care of myself, it's a necessary adjustment that I have only become aware of recently. I am thankful for the enlightenment. Thanks Jesus for teaching me the ways to true life.Seriously, I like You a lot.
Opened and closed doors.
I have been praying for many weeks with a certain request, and God has defintely shut the door. I feel free. I feel thankful. Even though I wanted a different outcome, Im expectant God will make my path straight towards the goal. Love. Christ.
If I could sum up my whole life, and only say one thing to everyone... it would be "Love Christ."
This continues to change me all the time. I don't know how, or why... but it does. I am so thankful for God. His ways, this night, the door that closed, the healthy food i was blessed to eat, my dad, his favor for me, colby. i think God made me like this, therefore I thank God.
Yahhoo... new heart, start beating.. now! :)
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