poem 1

I'm so glad that your listening... I can have your undivided eyes, with thoughts focused on us tonight

Lately I have felt a wall between us and it wasn't you who built it.

It always amazes me how I try to block you from seeing me, all of me, in her natural form and setting.

i guess it is because i think your perfect.

and i dont ever want you to uncover that i am not.

i guess it's because your forgiving

and i dont want you to ever see that im struggling to keep up

or i guess its because i think you wouldn't understand

but your the one who made me like this in the first place.

so, i guess when i am struggling to build the wall... brick by brick

you will gentle remove it, with a reaffirming look... that says "you will always be mine."

This is a poem that was inspired here, off the cuff and from the inner Spirit inside. Im unsure how a pregnant women feels when there is a baby inside her womb, but i am wondering if i feel that way tonight... knowing that the Spirit living inside of me is living and growing, and longing to manifest itself through my every day thoughts, words and actions. it's moving and breathing... dreaming, creating, loving, dancing, talking and singing...

today was a really cool day. the best part of the day was realizing "why" the gospel is good news. because, as you can see from my poem, i do build walls in effort to hide from jesus, which is why i was wrestling with this question in the first place. " why is the gospel good news for me?"

well. here was an answer to my question: this gospel of jesus is good news because he taught that God and Him were one. equals but different. unlike judaism, where the rules of God are taught, and must be taught in order for one to understand. jesus came singing a different song... his song went like this.... "you don't have to be able to read, write or speak to know i love you. look within, im teaching you, God made you like this, look inside and you will see the Kingdom of God is at hand. You were made as a son and daughter of this King, and His love is written on your heart of flesh... look love, do you see it?"

:) its not written in stone, like the 10 commandments. Jesus did not come to save the righteous the people who know God's love through rules written on stone, but to the sinners. the one's who sin, because they dont know they are loved.
have you ever wondered why you find yourself making poor decisions? saying hurtful things? or having a sour attitude? ill tell you why... that "loved/respected wrinkle " hasn't been smoothed out by believing your loved.respected... for some reason or another, you ain't feeling the love!

And... actually i think it was st fancis of assissi who said "people arn't starving for food and clothing, but for love and appreciation." and i know this is so true for me. As of right now, im all sorts of wrinkly, and with you as my witness im asking "Lord, would you please smooth out the unloved wrinkles in my heart, so that i can be loved, and then love you back too? then maybe i can love others, and tell them you said, they don;t have to have "it" all together, but that you just want them to believe you when you say you love them, and that you are the pathway that leads them to true, lasting love? that would be cool. amen"

Lindsay's Corner

I like to make updates...
1. we are having a thanksgiving feast with zoila and her family. i am happy about this, because they are funny people and i get to hang out with them and hear how their lives are going.

2. my dad and his girlfriend, gloria, are back on and going strong. although i am super happy my dad is happy... i am reminded of my singleness... which praise God I have right now! however, I have sent Him my request for a beautiful godly man who i can share my life with... he hasn't replied yet, i am still waiting. :)

3. peru. so, i guess we may be going in january for a couple of weeks. i am excited because i need to get my impacted wisdom teeth pulled, and i can get it done cheap in Peru. Plus, gloria is from there and she will let us stay in her house. :)
i have a friend, jeronimo that may be there, he is super cute, so i wait expectantly to see if God will open the door for us to see each other. :) haha

4. the art exhibit dance routine... is better than the video on youtube... i'd tell you to watch it if i thought it was good... but i shall without this info... it wasn't good, and it's better now. :)

5. dancing for christmas. at a church. to a song by 4Him. Strange way to save the world. i love doing a little dance routines... the thing i need now is a dance costume. pray that it will be so perfect, and the audience will wanna just give Jesus a Big Spirited Hug!!

6. thanks for reading. i love you, and cherish you. and am hoping you are doing well. you are more appreciated and loved than you think...

dream,
Lindsay